Disability. You're Helping Too Much

Lamar Todd

Professor Shaw

WGSS 275

December 10, 2019

Blog #2:

Disability. You’re Helping Too Much.

On the CDC (center for disease control) website, there is a specified tab for “disabilities”. While broad, the tabs include titles like “inclusion” and “overcoming barriers”. It is obvious that the aim of this article is to allow able bodied people the tools to talk to someone with a disability and support individuals who are disabled who may be loved ones. Upon my experience being disabled and surrounded by able bodied people, I have come to realize that people are truly just helping to much. The significant focus on making people who are disabled feel more comfortable and accepted within an able bodied society emphasizes an individual’s differences and causes the person to feel even more uncomfortable than if they had simply just been left alone. 

The WHO (World Health Organization) describes a barrier as “Factors in a person’s environment that, through their absence or presence, limit functioning and create disability”. So in context, a disability is something that is an extension or result of a barrier. The focus on these barriers by the CDC allowed them to create a list specified for this type of attempted inclusion They suggest these items: “Getting fair treatment from others (nondiscrimination); Making products, communications, and the physical environment more usable by as many people as possible (universal design); Modifying items, procedures, or systems to enable a person with a disability to use them to the maximum extent possible (reasonable accommodations); and Eliminating the belief that people with disabilities are unhealthy or less capable of doing things (stigma, stereotypes).” Individuals attempt to do these things or people in order to “help them”. Opening doors and making it a point to point out the person who is disabled only makes that person feel more uncomfortable and over time, anger arises from this. The frustration of being told that you are incapable of doing something yourself especially when they are showing off their able bodiedness by performing the task for you, is frustrating, demoralizing and serves as an insult to those who are disabled. It is an assumption that people want or need help just because of the way they look. This discrimination against a group of people is considered socially acceptable because of the intent behind individual’s actions. People feel that because they are trying to help, the other person on the receiving end of said help should be forced to accept. This is not the case. 

An article written on “The Mighty” discusses 8 “helpful” things that individuals do that “don't really help people with disabilities”. These include: 1.) Helping people who do not want to be helped 2.) changing the way you talk 3.) Saying that someone does not look disabled when they are 4.) Feeling sorry 5.) Referring to a disabled individual as inspiring/brave 6.)Invalidating a disability or illness that is not readily visible 7.) Avoiding eye contact 8.) offering medical advice. These eight things as discussed in the article increase that disabled person’s feelings about being inferior in an able bodied society. I have experienced all eight of these things over the course of my injury, the most prevalent being individuals trying to help when I do not need or want it, people feeling sorry for me, which is displayed in their words with literally “oh I’m so sorry” or “poor guy” from people who are close to me and should understand my disability/ what it entails, and the avoidance of eye contact. 

From the image above, we see a young girl in a wheelchair doing the task of shooting a basketball. This is not something you think of when you think of disability and the words “wheelchair” and “basketball” are not socially acceptable to use in a sentence together. This pairing of words sparks the interest of able bodied people. Another way that people are using disability to their own agenda without the empathetic aspect of understanding someone’s experience to the depths that their individualized actions may affect them, is by using disabled athletes and success stories for their own motivation. Those who excel and are also disabled serve as personal inspiration for able bodied people because. When an individual refuses help or visibly does not need help, able bodied individuals see this as a “bonus” to their own experience and use phrases like “if they can do it, I can too”. This is almost the equivalent, to the ear of someone who is disabled, to saying that this able bodied individual is the dominant to the disabled individual and if that disabled person can perform a task that an able bodied person can, then they are excelling and motivating to the people around them. 

Overall, not only from articles, but also from my own experience of these things, being disabled, I have seen that people are turning the use of empathy in to a type of power dynamic.. Society deems it acceptable and the trend continues. You are Helping Too Much.

https://themighty.com/2015/04/helpful-things-that-dont-help-people-with-disabilities/

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/disabilityandhealth/disability-strategies.html

Be Uncomfortable: Changing Our Perception of Fat

Lamar Todd

Professor Shaw

8 December 2019

WGSS 275

Blog #3:

Fattylympics: Changing Our Perception of Fat

Being overweight in our society has always been perceived as a negative thing. While other cultures may see weight and the accumulation of fat over time as a source of abundance and prosperity, and at times it may even serve as a symbol of wealth, Americanized societies are disgusted by the idea of not being stick skinny and embodying the idealistic European American standards of beauty. 

Can Fattylympics and the reclaiming or “rebranding” of fat in our society truly change our perception? Or rather does it hinder us?

The Fattylympics otherwise referred to as the “roly-poly” olympics in an article by daily mail https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2170666/Fattylympics-The-Roly-poly-Olympics-Contestants-WERE-game-laugh.html, explains that the fattylympics began initially as a protest to the inherent “sizeism” that those who are not in “Olympic shape” face as discrimation during the preface of the 2012 olympic games. This form of fat activism is all about empowering those who feel this burden by society to conform and feel negatively about their own appearance, to the point where taking up more space makes you invisible. Our society has focused so much on this standard of beauty that all of the negative connotations surrounding fat are amplified. Individuals are persecuted for their appearance, even when they cannot help it and are made to feel that their fat equates to being unhealthy. Fortunately there is enough evidence to support the fact that being “fat” does not equate to being unhealthy. These individuals walk around in society everyday with this stigma placed on their bodies. They live uncomfortably in a world where they don't feel they belong. This is exemplified in the previous stated article through a Fattylympics participant who stated, “I am supporting the Fattylympics because as a fat person I feel that this is the only Olympics that wants me”. This idea of comfortability is ironic in the way that it provides a comfort to those experiencing an uncomfortability in their very existence on a daily basis. In this way, the phrase “Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable” is truly applicable. An example of this is depicted in the image above where a woman who society deems to be overweight is doing aerobic exercises and participating in the Fattylympics. She wears tight, colorful clothing to accentuate her curves and show off the body that most are afraid and unable to share with the world due to the discrimation placed on them. 

Drastic measures are necessary because it is not always to make others feel comfortable enough to help. Sometimes it is about empowering those within the group and disrupting the norms. This makes others uncomfortable and whether people change their minds or not about helping out the cause, it is mostly about the rebelling group to not worry about the norms or the perceptions anymore. Regardless of this, fat people will be perceived in a negative way without them even being able to control that perception due to how society shapes individuals minds. With this being said fat people then take this power back and disrupts people's comfort and continues to control the negative perception in a drastic way which can also spark change   

Fattylympics is also a form of competition that people who are overweight in our society typically do not have the opportunity to be a part of. Competition is a hallmark in American societies. It leads in the contribution to a consumerist society by way of allowing prices companies and individuals to compete and better themselves. If you do not have this form of competition, most individuals who do not possess such internal motivation allow themselves not to be involved in things such as sports and extracurricular activities. Fat activism and the Fattylympics allow these individuals to find fair and positive, morality building competition that in turn help individuals build a sense of self (one that they are proud of) as well as a sense of community that they may have lacked due to social stigmas. 

While this form of competition can be seen as increasing unhealthy attitudes toward food and food consumption/relationships, it also serves as an opportunity for  “Fat activism [to] stand in opposition to the social stigma associated with fat, and, more generally, fatphobic attitudes throughout culture, and it has had considerable successes even though these attitudes are hegemonic and entrenched.” In this way, it is clear that the persisting attitudes and unhealthy relationships with fat and food do not outweigh the possible positive outcomes associated with this form of fat activism.  https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/21604851.2018.1453622. In this way, Fattylympics and the reclaiming or “rebranding” of fat in our society has the power to truly change our perception of fat as a people and in turn increase competition, motivation and community within individuals who are not viewed to have the ideal body type in America. 

Like grandmother, like mother, like daughter

I grew up with a mother who did everything and anything to try and lose weight. From a very very young age, I can remember my mom taking diet pills, eating differently, and constantly pointing out all her flaws. I also remember similar encounters when I would visit and stay at my grandmothers house. She wouldn't eat bread, she drank a special milk, and took diet pills just like my mother. The difference though, my grandmother was thin and my mother was fat.

But my mother wasn't always fat. As a young girl and teenager, my mother was tall and skinny. After having two kids, her body changed and her weight changed. Since then, for as long as I can remember, my mother has tried anything and everything (except surgery) to try and lose/maintain her weight. My mother's weight fluctuated from being fat to being not as fat, she never got back to being skinny. My grandmother would comment on her weight though, not always, but enough that I noticed.

Ad Source 

When I was younger, I was considered fat for my age. In 7th grade I moved in with my father and went to a new school and made new friends. I met a girl who was skinnier than me, and guess what, she took diet pills. I never took diet pills, but within a year or so, I started getting conscious about my weight. And so did my father and mother. I thought I was fine, but I would hear comments like "you're eating too much" or "you're not eating enough". No one was ever happy with my weight and someone would always comment about it. I remember one summer in high school, I went the entire summer barely eating a thing. I lost a lot of weight and got sick. My mother would congratulate me when I ate, even if it was just a little bit. I had to slowly consume more while eating because my stomach and appetite shrank from not eating anything. Eventually I got my appetite back and maintained a healthy weight. Years later, I had a beautiful baby boy and my body completely changed. I suffered for months with being uncomfortable with my new "mom bod". I didn't learn to love my body until just a year ago.

There's such a negative shame behind being fat. And for what? Because the advertisement in a magazine told you so, because a commercial showed you some crazy weight-loss results and showed you how happy the people seemed after the weight-loss, because you've heard someone say "don't eat that you'll get fat". But why is FAT the concern when it comes to bodies? Why not the health attached to that body? Just because someone is skinny doesn't mean they are healthy and just because someone is fat does not mean they are unhealthy. You CAN be FAT and HAPPY and HEALTHY.
Image Source

Body Positive Marketing: Boon or Bust?

In the spirit of living within my beliefs and fostering positive change, I found myself torn when looking for a pair of new workout leggings recently. Should I buy a pair of workout leggings because the company selling them promotes body positivity and is inclusive of larger bodies over a company that doesn't? On the one hand, encouraging the celebration and normalisation of diverse bodies in advertisements seems, on the surface, to be a good thing in helping change the discourse around the bodies we see most frequently in media. On the other hand, the extent to which it is a good thing is questionable as the end goal is, after all, to sell a product. This is a quandary I recently faced as a consumer trying to be more conscious. Do I support companies who appear to be trying to do something right? Are their efforts towards inclusiveness and body positivity actually a good thing at all? Or do these type of advertisements lie somewhere between helpful and harmful? 

What is the best course of action? 

One of many similar images promoting their wide size range on PopFit's Instagram page @popfitclothing

Tackling the question of whether advertisements promoting body positivity are a boon or a bust often begins with the Internet and social media. Those of us active on the Internet over the last few years have been subjected to targeted, personalised ads. As the technology becomes more sophisticated, our search engine activity, the websites we visit, the specific products we click on, and the products we buy all feed into algorithms which track and store our activity as a consumer and then present related advertisements to tempt us into spending even more. In many regards, they have begun to stalk us opening a whole separate ethical issue. Search the term of, say, "body positivity" with any frequency and products promoting body positivity will begin appearing. Searching that term led me to be categorised as a target audience on Instagram for sponsored ads for POP Fit athletic wear , a women owned brand that offers sizes ranging from xsmall to xxxlarge and consistently features women of colour, disabled women, fat women, and bodies of all types on their social media accounts. Since I was looking for another pair of workout leggings, I was intrigued. Their advertisements and posts on their Instagram page featured many fat women with large fat rolls and visible cellulite underneath their leggings, women of colour, disabled, and diverse women in a way that didn't seem like tokenism but a genuine attempt to make the brand inclusive and celebratory of everyone. Even the smaller women looked realistic (lumps, bumps, tummy, and such) and the brand also featured very slim women here and there to make sure everyone was represented. There was also an emphasis on practical comfort, pockets, and features that women want rather than the emphasis on sexiness often seen in athletic brand advertisements. The comments from the company on their posts always echoed the sentiment that all bodies are good bodies and that all women deserve to be included and represented. To that end, most of their posts are hashtagged with a variety of body positive hashtags as well.  
Many comments on POP Fit's posts from real people thanked them for the representation of bodies that look like theirs, the range of sizes, comfort, and features like roomy pockets that make their lives easier. Differentiating POP Fit from other brands' attempts at body positivity and inclusion such as Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty borne from the need to revive the brand and make it more competitive rather than inclusiveness being its original goal, POP Fit seems to be doing something right. 

 @popfitclothing

The positives to POP Fit's advertising are compelling. Not only offering a practical and fashionable product to people with all types of bodies, the brand also participates in the normalisation of different types of bodies - especially larger bodies. This kind of conscious disruption of the typical "normal" bodies seen in the majority of advertisements composing the casual media that floats across our screens is a small but important contribution to helping change media norms. For those with larger bodies, that consistent positive representation in a culture that tends to hate fat people can also be an important reminder that fat is beautiful and has a place in the public eye. 

 @popfitclothing and @lilyflowers_

On the other hand, despite POP Fit's good intentions, they are a company ultimately trying to persuade consumers into buying a product. That is why I was targeted for one of their sponsored ads. Their frequent message of bodily inclusiveness and positivity - while arguably helping change the narrative of who is allowed to be represented in the media - is limited, separated from radical body politics, and self-serving. The question of whether body positivity is itself actually a positive development is also in question. While it is important for spaces for positivity and affirmation surrounding bodies to exist, the fact that many people have conflicting feelings about their bodies, the fact that not everyone loves their body (or all the time), and the fact that many people live in a culture that views their body as wrong is not addressed in the blanket statement "love yourself". That statement or sentiment requires the viewer to agree regardless of their own feelings or struggles or risk becoming "negative" for dissenting. Fostering positive feelings and a sense of belonging is useful from a marketing perspective to build customer loyalty, but it does little for the person who doesn't love themself who still wants a pair of leggings. And that is where perhaps POP Fit falls short the most.

In the end, I didn't actually buy any leggings at all. I instead opted to buy another pair of athletic shoes after finding a hole in my old pair. But I will still seriously consider POP Fit for my next pair of leggings because, despite their limitations as a for-profit company and the problems that arise when brands use body positivity to build brand loyalty, I do think that the company is on a better track. And, while we may want to change the world, we have to also live in it. Small steps in the right direction are better than none, and a smaller, women owned company that consistently promotes larger and diverse bodies may be a better choice out of many that are none of them perfect. As long as we leave the real activism to the activists and remember we are potential customers, POP Fit might be just the place to get some workout clothes. 

As A Child I Aspired To Be A Loser When I Grew Up

I remember when I was much younger- perhaps for a period of time in mid-elementary school, I used to watch the Biggest Loser. I would mostly binge watch it by myself,  but I would do so as well as with my immediate family, my parents, two younger sisters, and I. My father and I were the most invested and would make diet sugar free chocolate pudding to eat while watching together, especially for the occasion. My family life has long revolved around eating and television. Other family favorite shows included Heroes, American Idol, and Revolution. As I have come into burgeoning young adulthood, I have realized that these habits informed my world image, relationship to self, and, moreover, struggles with disordered eating.

From Daily Mail

Honestly, until a few weeks ago I had forgotten about the existence of the show. I understand now that the unlearning of fatphobia I have cultivated was largely informed by Biggest Loser. It was not until my roommate, Gene, reminded of the program by talking about a piece they did for their senior comprehensive project this semester (you can see it in the student show happening in Doane Gallery soon!). Their painting of which I am referring to is of an ex Biggest Loser host from the Australian version of the reality television show. She is shown fat, with lots of exposed skin, getting her's (if you know what i mean!! ;) ) on the beach- truly an incredible image. Since being on the show many past contestants, and others who were previously associated with the show have spoken out against the production. Biggest Loser practiced abuse and projected fatphobia on its contestants. There is no doubt in my mind that Cooper would is disgusted with the show. Today I am ashamed to have been so invested in the production, but I remember that at this time I was a child. I did not have the tools yet to question what I was seeing. Now I can participate in the discourse, and I feel taken advantage of; I feel brainwashed.

I stopped dieting about two years ago, but before that I had been dieting for as long as I could remember, and wanting to participate in diet culture much long before my parents allowed and encouraged me to do so. My first structured diet designed to help me lose weight was likely at age nine, although I could not say for sure. I had watched my parents diet before this, and eventually my whole family would begin to go on diets together. These diets were almost always a hybrid plan of nutrisystem boxed foods and the keto diet. Slowly but surely, I would always gain the weight back, as we all would, so we would go on and off as a family. Almost all contestants of Biggest Loser gained the weight back as well. This culture is not sustainable or healthy. An investigation was even started to find whether or not contestants were drugged.

Watching Biggest Loser as a child I saw these people push themselves to injury, vomiting after starving themselves, collapse, and break down to become "fit" and "thin"... I watched and thought that it must be exhausting and difficult, but in a rewarding way. The narrative of the production is that these people are so lucky to be there and given this chance to get "in shape". I aspired to that. Now that I have done so much unlearning and learning, I see the abuse and I see the fatphobia, and I am appalled. Fortunately the show has been cancelled, but only just last year. The psychological and physical violence that has been inflicted on the contestants is horrendous and as I have recently come to see in myself, damage beyond that, at a cultural level.

Biggest Loser did not only have influence over the fatphobia of American culture, but it reflects that fatphobia which was already prevalent. I would like to include a "to be sure" in this blog op-ed, but I really do not think there is anything redeemable about Biggest Loser. The program advocated for abuse and fat-shaming. It was an abhorrent program and I am glad that it has been cancelled. Healthism advocates surely not approve of the show's premise as it is objectively unhealthy, but they would likely support the general premise of the show, to encourage obese people to loose weight and exercise in order to become "healthy". Healthists should also know that of course fat people can be healthy, but might also be tempted to say that radical fat lesbian feminism that Cooper draws from, and I am inclined to appreciate, "glorifies obesity". There is some validity to this, being overweight can put health in jeopardy, and I have seen this first hand, however, I have also experienced fatphobia firsthand and ultimately I care more about advocating for radical fat acceptance.

You gotta know Fat to be Pro-Fat

"Fat People" - Cover photo of book by author Bill Schubart

Fat used to be positive, now it refers to negativity, why? In the western Victorian ora, fat was associated with wealth. The fat men were well-fed because they had enough money for themselves and their family to eat and have extra as well. There was a more positive cultural relativity back then when considering the term ‘fat’. In the present time, characters in books and on television shows are asking questions like “Does this shirt make me look fat?” If they got a response of yes, does that mean they need to take the shirt off? Why is the term ‘fat’ so negative now? We need to get to the bottom of this new cultural construct because I do not like it and enough people are being excluded and dehumanized. This needs to end, so let’s bring awareness to this idea now.

What is so bad about being fat? Similar to the olden days, the word ‘fat’ is being used as an identity marker. Charlotte Cooper, author of “Fat Activism: A Radical Social Movement”, lingers around this topic of a broken society where we are unable to freely think and have perspectives. Society is manipulating and has people thinking societal ideals are dominant and most accurate to the truth; people think societal ideals are the truth. We are unable to listen to the voices of fat people as a collective and include them in society because it is already put into place that fat people do not belong. How we think socially is flawed. Our thought process is like … on autopilot or default because we use societal thoughts as our own. We have to learn how to first unlearn to be able to think for ourselves and think with a little more empathy for that matter. Societal perspectives are inhumane.

A person wouldn’t be presumed to be wealthy and happy within this society, more like the opposite. If someone is fat today, they are selfish and greedy. They don’t know how to share, which is why they are fat after all right? They aren’t happy, how can they be happy when they have diabetes or some health issue. We are all of a sudden health experts and therapists without even asking a single question. What do people think they are honestly doing to help by telling someone they are fat? I am sure they are aware of their own body. Fat people can’t be free to live their lives with everyone staring at them. Of Course that fat person doesn’t look comfortable, they aren’t comfortable in their skin as long as society stares and points. Society is bullying fat people if you ask me. The only one who genuinely understand and know what a fat person may want for themselves is them, people who can speak on behalf of fat people are those who were in their shoes; other fat people.

Who should talk for fat people? Charlotte Cooper, author of “Fat Activism: A Radical Social Movement”, lingers around this topic of ‘who can speak for who’. It was suggested within the book that one needs to have experience within an issue before they can speak about or on behalf of people in the situation (pg 33 and 99). In other words, you can not try to make suggestions or opinionated ideas about or in regards to fat people unless you are fat yourself and have experienced what it is like to live within a bigger and differently structured and abled body. Speaking on behalf of someone you are ignorant to does not liberate them. We don’t speak for fat people, we speak for what we think fat people feel. That is not fair and is not getting any closer to inclusion and equality.

Fat people should always be included, they are people! Society should recognize the diversity within each community. There are complex variations of body size and structure. Labeling can become very exclusive when all body types aren't considered. The “one size fits all” label on clothes becomes disabling to a person whose body structure is incompatible with the material. This brings into question why their size is not included in ‘all sizes’, suggesting the body is abnormal, unideal, unnatural and continues the idea of hierarchies and inequality. BMI scales have even been suggested to be outdated and exclusive of various body types. We can’t let claims about our body, claims about bodies that society is unfamiliar with, change our own thoughts, actions and well-being. We should examine if these products are as advertised before we consider our physical appearances to be the flaw within society.

There are even studies suggesting the “fat gene” that causes larger body structures is also a “happy gene”. Fat people are less likely to get depressed --about an 8% reduction--. People should look to fat people for coping mechanisms or hobbies because there are people with horrible mental disorders and health issues that wish they were just fat. Fat is just as normal as any other body type. People get called ‘fat’ simply because they have the most pounds of the friend group. The terms currently associated with the word ‘fat’ are socially constructed in order to continue hierarchies. A specific body type is not more ideal or important than any other and physicalities should not be used as an identity marker. Give everyone a chance to show who they are without biased stereotypical ideas. Fat shouldn't be used as an identity marker because the term changes according to the context it is being used in.

Stop making us feel so bad about the size of our jeans

Is it just me or has shopping become one of the most dreaded experiences, especially as a woman? When I was younger I remember getting so excited to go shopping because I was always on the lookout for new clothes, everything fit me perfectly (for the most part), and I loved trying things on to model for my mom. I would ask to go to the mall every single weekend—I just absolutely loved it. But now as I’m getting older, I try to avoid the mall at every cost. Not only does it drain my bank account, but it also drains my self-esteem. Every year I go up another size with no explanation, and it affects the reflection I see in the fitting room mirror. The conversation I have with myself in the mirror sounds something like this:

Wow… I look really bad. Ugh do I really look like that? Do I look fat? Maybe I should start dieting. I need to start going to the gym.

And just like that, I end up leaving the store practically in tears. Honestly, there is nothing more frustrating than this feeling—and I know I’m not alone.

The first major problem with this is that every store sizes their clothing differently—especially their pants. In 2017, the picture to the left went viral—pictured is five pairs of jeans, all supposedly the “same size”. This alone is extremely frustrating because it means you have to try on multiple sizes at most of the stores you go to. When I’m shopping, I generally follow my size 8 norm. But alone at one store, I have fluctuated between a size 4 and a size 10 depending on the cut of the jeans…so I have all together given up shopping there. How is it that a size 6 could be considered a size 10? There is reason behind this, and this leads right into the next major problem.

The second major problem has to do with the illusion surrounding our weight. The body that is currently in style is the thin and fit body. Our society has made us believe that this is the most attractive body, and with this, fashion (including clothing size) follows the trend. Companies know that nobody enjoys going up a size because being “fat” is something that is looked down upon—so they make consumers believe that if they go up a size when they really did not, they will most likely believe they have gained weight and need to lose weight. This is the fashion industry’s way of telling women how their bodies should be proportioned, and they makes us feel like it’s our fault that our “normal” size doesn’t fit anymore. It all comes back to the constant surveillance of our bodies and our appearance.

I understand that some companies try to keep their sizes true to themselves—and this is a good thing. I am not here to preach that sizing shouldn’t be a thing because even though we may not like the number associated with our size, it does indeed help us find the correctly sized clothing that we need. And I’m not here to push universally sized clothing either because it goes back to the argument surrounding “one size fits all”—every body is different, and one size in fact does not fit all. However, a consistent measurement for sizes should be put in place because it becomes a problem when companies purposefully continue engraining the “ideal” body mindset in our society.

We can’t place 100% of the blame on our society as a whole and on the companies promoting this. It is partially our fault for giving in to the mindset of wanting to be skinny. Previous studies have showed that women have a preference for smaller sized clothes because it “boosts our confidence,” and I have definitely been guilty of thinking this way. We continue to subconsciously support the “ideal” body type by falling into this trap.

Instead of giving in to the consumerism that is consistently apparent in our culture, we need to understand that our bodies are not defined by the number on the back of our jeans. It’s of course a process learning to accept my body as it is, but even slowly being able to work through this barrier is rewarding. Even though your size might fluctuate, you have not changed—it’s all simply a mind trick.