As A Child I Aspired To Be A Loser When I Grew Up

I remember when I was much younger- perhaps for a period of time in mid-elementary school, I used to watch the Biggest Loser. I would mostly binge watch it by myself,  but I would do so as well as with my immediate family, my parents, two younger sisters, and I. My father and I were the most invested and would make diet sugar free chocolate pudding to eat while watching together, especially for the occasion. My family life has long revolved around eating and television. Other family favorite shows included Heroes, American Idol, and Revolution. As I have come into burgeoning young adulthood, I have realized that these habits informed my world image, relationship to self, and, moreover, struggles with disordered eating.

From Daily Mail

Honestly, until a few weeks ago I had forgotten about the existence of the show. I understand now that the unlearning of fatphobia I have cultivated was largely informed by Biggest Loser. It was not until my roommate, Gene, reminded of the program by talking about a piece they did for their senior comprehensive project this semester (you can see it in the student show happening in Doane Gallery soon!). Their painting of which I am referring to is of an ex Biggest Loser host from the Australian version of the reality television show. She is shown fat, with lots of exposed skin, getting her's (if you know what i mean!! ;) ) on the beach- truly an incredible image. Since being on the show many past contestants, and others who were previously associated with the show have spoken out against the production. Biggest Loser practiced abuse and projected fatphobia on its contestants. There is no doubt in my mind that Cooper would is disgusted with the show. Today I am ashamed to have been so invested in the production, but I remember that at this time I was a child. I did not have the tools yet to question what I was seeing. Now I can participate in the discourse, and I feel taken advantage of; I feel brainwashed.

I stopped dieting about two years ago, but before that I had been dieting for as long as I could remember, and wanting to participate in diet culture much long before my parents allowed and encouraged me to do so. My first structured diet designed to help me lose weight was likely at age nine, although I could not say for sure. I had watched my parents diet before this, and eventually my whole family would begin to go on diets together. These diets were almost always a hybrid plan of nutrisystem boxed foods and the keto diet. Slowly but surely, I would always gain the weight back, as we all would, so we would go on and off as a family. Almost all contestants of Biggest Loser gained the weight back as well. This culture is not sustainable or healthy. An investigation was even started to find whether or not contestants were drugged.

Watching Biggest Loser as a child I saw these people push themselves to injury, vomiting after starving themselves, collapse, and break down to become "fit" and "thin"... I watched and thought that it must be exhausting and difficult, but in a rewarding way. The narrative of the production is that these people are so lucky to be there and given this chance to get "in shape". I aspired to that. Now that I have done so much unlearning and learning, I see the abuse and I see the fatphobia, and I am appalled. Fortunately the show has been cancelled, but only just last year. The psychological and physical violence that has been inflicted on the contestants is horrendous and as I have recently come to see in myself, damage beyond that, at a cultural level.

Biggest Loser did not only have influence over the fatphobia of American culture, but it reflects that fatphobia which was already prevalent. I would like to include a "to be sure" in this blog op-ed, but I really do not think there is anything redeemable about Biggest Loser. The program advocated for abuse and fat-shaming. It was an abhorrent program and I am glad that it has been cancelled. Healthism advocates surely not approve of the show's premise as it is objectively unhealthy, but they would likely support the general premise of the show, to encourage obese people to loose weight and exercise in order to become "healthy". Healthists should also know that of course fat people can be healthy, but might also be tempted to say that radical fat lesbian feminism that Cooper draws from, and I am inclined to appreciate, "glorifies obesity". There is some validity to this, being overweight can put health in jeopardy, and I have seen this first hand, however, I have also experienced fatphobia firsthand and ultimately I care more about advocating for radical fat acceptance.