Yeah, I Have a Limp. What’s the Problem With That?

Yeah, I Have a Limp. What’s the Problem with That?

Picture this, you are in your early 20s and strolling across your dream college’s campus, wind blowing through your hair, you have not been this happy in a long time. You know you are in the right place for you and cannot wait to see what college brings to your life. This is something many people have experienced, yes? Only this time, something seems off. Then it hits you. It must be the limp. Since when did your limp bring so many stares and disheartened smiles? Just because you are “different” than most others, does not mean you are unworthy of the same treatment received by able-bodied people. In any other aspect of yourself, difference is applauded and wonderful, so why is it that your limp gets treated any differently? Disability is not a bad thing.

Unfortunately, the stares and smiles start to look like your new normal and, suddenly, you feel so small, so vulnerable; just when you thought that you finally had that new beginning you were looking for. Growing up in a small town in a small high school, everyone was so used to your limp that no one even batted an eye for years.  Guess that’s over now, huh? Can anyone even tell you what makes you so different than everyone else on campus? You are just as smart, funny, and beautiful as any other girl, you get good grades, wear nice clothes, and have great friends. Honestly, you are no different than the average girl, well except for the limp, but why is it that the limp is such a big deal anyway?

Why does your disability define you, you ask? With a disability, outsiders see you as lost potential or unworthy of the same standards that they hold those who are “able-bodied,” whatever that means. In this case, disability is taken in a quite literal, physical way that has to deal with the lack of ability due to a physical difference, not in the more abstract, mental health type of way. If we were looking at disabilities regarding mental health, this would be a completely different conversation due to the increased stigmas associated with mental health. In the case of physical disability, people pity you simply because they cannot understand what it is like to live any less than perfectly abled – they would hate to be you. Your disability is visible, and you become a spectacle to all around you. Would a difference in your personality single you out like that?

Erin Gallagher, Disabilities Don't Define Us, 2016

Differences in personalities among people don’t receive the same kind of stare that a physical disability does, but would you expect them to? Personality requires interaction with the bearer to establish a relationship while the limp allows people to make decisions about you before they even meet you, so of course it is not judged in the same way. Personalities are unique to every individual just like the body. Everybody has differences, whether it is due to body size, body markings like freckles, or that your ears are attached instead of loose at the bottom, your genes play a major part in these differences. Differences in personality are not stigmatized and pitied in the same way as a limp, though there is little difference between the two in all honesty. In this case, the limp is due to a long line of family member with bad hips. Your limp was unpredictable and influenced solely by your surroundings, just as your personality is. Additionally, everyone has different tastes and likes yet, once again, they are not pitied for being different from whatever the established “norm” may be. It must become our job to make disability a likeness to personality, taste, and preferences.

In a world where disability is talked about alongside differences in personality, taste, and preferences will be a world with less unspoken tension. Instead of allowing a person’s disability to define them and your preconceptions about them before you ever meet them, take the time to say hello, get to know them, and learn that they are not looking for your pity, in fact I bet they are looking for a friend, just like you are. At this point, I hope you can see that in many cases difference is celebrated. There is no reason that a difference in ability should be seen any differently than a difference in preferences between two people. Let’s all work toward acknowledgment instead of staring and love for all, no matter what their outward differences may be, and the world may just start to become a more accepting, happier place.

Women: When are you going to have a baby?

For whatever reason, all around the world, women's bodies are seen for one thing and one thing only- to birth children. It is a constant pressure, especially as women get older or get married. Something society seems to forget is, that not every women can have children and not every women WANTS children. And that's okay.

Reasons women don't get pregnant:

Image Source

According to the CDC about 6.1 million women in the United States (15-44) have trouble getting pregnant and/or staying pregnant. One reason a women may not be able to get pregnant is because she has problems with ovulation which can be caused by polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). This means there is a hormone imbalance causing ovulation issues. Primary ovarian insufficiency (POI) also causes ovulation problems but with POI a woman's ovaries will stop working properly before she reaches 40 (not menopause). Another cause for ovulation issues is called Hypothalamic dysfunction which is caused by excess physical/emotional stress, very high/very low body weight, or recent weight gain/loss. This disorder effects the two hormones that are responsible for stimulation ovulation. 

Blocked fallopian tubes is another reason a woman may not be able to get pregnant. A blocked fallopian tube can be caused by pelvic inflammatory disease, infection to the uterus and fallopian tubes due to an STI, and surgeries in the pelvis 

Endometriosis is another reason women may not be able to get pregnant. This is when the tissue grown in the uterus grows in other parts of the body. The extra tissue can cause a block in fallopian tubes and if a woman has surgery to remove the extra tissue, the scarring can cause a block in the fallopian tubes.

An increased likelihood of miscarriage can also make it difficult for a woman to become pregnant. This can be cause by benign tumors, uterine abnormalites and cervical stenosis.

There are also a number of risk factors that can put a woman at high risk for infertility such as age, smoking, weight, sexual history, and alcohol consumption. 

Sometimes, there is no reason. Unexplained infertility is also a cause of not being able to get pregnant.

But what about the women who don't want children? Some women just do not want to have children, plain and simple, and that's okay. Society seems to think that women are just here to bare children but that is not the case. Yes, the majority of women want to have children and do have children. There are still plenty of women who want the "traditional household"- husband, kids, stay at home mom, etc. But not EVERY women wants that life for a multitude of reason- financial struggles, the woman's age, maybe she wants to get through college first, maybe she hasn't found "the one", maybe she wants to travel the world instead, maybe she wants to adopt, maybe the thought of having someone who depends solely on you throws the woman into a panic attack, or maybe she really just doesn't want to have children.

People never think about any of these things when they ask the question "when are you having kids?". Yes, it's something a woman's family or friends may want to know, especially if she's married or even in a long term relationship, but it's not anyone's business but hers (and her partners). No one NEEDS to know if/when a woman plans to have children. No one needs to know why a woman doesn't want to have children but people do need to know that it's a sensitive subject to A LOT of women and they have no right to ask a woman when she is going to have a baby.

How and Why Women are Stripped of Power

Lamar Todd

WGSS 275

October 7, 2019

Op-Ed Blogs: Writing for Understanding and Change

A Heteronormative Society: 

How and Why Women are Stripped of Power

In our society, women cannot go outside after dark for fear that they may be in danger. This is not commonly known by most men in our heteronormative society whose privilege allows them to do several things that social standards prohibit women from. In a powerful video found on twitter, (insert link here), a woman stands on a corner at a crosswalk and records as men approach her over and over or catcall to her and look her up and down as if she is a piece of meat. Being a black man in our society, I have been subjected to the realities of what it means to be a perpetrator of these normalized crimes in our society, guilty or not. From my perspective, I was always accused and it upset me because I felt that these accusations attacked me not only as a black male but also my individual morality and character. After becoming more educated about the other side of the argument or rather putting myself into the perspective of a woman experiencing the harsh truth of what it means to be a woman in our heteronormative society, my mind was changed. 

In the image above, the idea of heteronormativity is framed with how it affects individuals in different ways. On the left hand side of the diagram, standards that affect both men and women are broken down to men being dominant and ready to initiate sex resulting in an increased “sex score” or amount of bodies they have. This therefore results in women being deemed inferior and meeting hostility when their “sex score” exceeds more than 1 or 2 individuals.  These double standards are applicable for both men and women and result in acceptance of verbal sexual coercion by a male counterpart resulting in female victimization.  

With this information, we are given the opportunity to understand that living in a world filled with heterotoxic and heteronormative masculinity can be very difficult for our female counterparts. In one article written by Mellissa Deem, “Scandal, heteronormative culture, and the disciplining of feminism”, masculinity and femininity are approached through government hierarchy and the different policies and events that occur to suppress women while uplifting or positively reinforcing actions by their male counterpart. In particular, Clinton’s time in the white house is scrutinized for his adulterous activity and the impact that that had on our nation and the ideals we hold. Prior to Clinton’s time in office, adultery was a taboo subject considered a sin that would cause impeachment in our society that is mostly of the christian religion and therefore against adulterous activity. After Clinton’s infidelity became nationwide breaking news, women who were considered to be feminists in Clinton’s political party were expected to stand and back the former president. In the article, Deem states, “ This double standard functions by collapsing identity and political practice in a manner that punishes feminists and delineates in advance the political and discursive possibilities that feminists are allowed to occupy”. This relates back to my earlier point wherein wrongful acts that are committed by men in our society are normalized to the point where women, feminists, are placed in a situation where they must sacrifice their own beliefs and put themselves into a position where women are inferiorized in order to lift up the perpetrator or men as a collective.

In WGSS, I have learned that having more than one perspective, especially pertaining to the issues about women in our society, who go so far as to be in danger because of social ideals, is valuable.  Heteronormative masculinity is an issue that affects both men and women in our society in different ways, forcing women to constantly look over their shoulder and learning to see themselves as inferior and therefore acting accordingly. Men in our society are taught to be hypermasculine and suppress any feelings, emotions, or actions that would result in their being feminized or emasculated by peers or even from their own perspective. Our points of view about our own identity and peer identity is shaped through our experiences, how we are treated and the lessons of how to treat others from watching while we grow up. In order to resolve the issues that our society faces as an individualized community filled with toxic masculinity, we need to educate our youth, peers and elders about the problems and reality women who are objectified and harmed in our society face on a daily basis. 

Works cited 

 Melissa Deem (1999) Scandal, heteronormative culture, and the disciplining of feminism, , 16:1, 86-93, DOI: 10.1080/15295039909367074